Saturday, May 10, 2014

My Mother's Daughter

Today I want to remember my Mother, not just as my mom but as my friend.

I want to share with you some of the secret things we shared together, just the two of us; Special things that have come to the surface this Mother's day.

This is the short list of course, to list them all would be impossible; It would go on forever. 

We both love(d) and enjoy(ed)flowers. She especially loved roses, and she had a special garden of them made up of a rainbow of beautiful colors. I remember one cold and rainy Mother's day when I went on a hunt for a new and unusual colored rose for her because I knew it would add character to her already bountiful bouquet of roses. 

The color ended up being a soft, creamy pink color, and though the name escapes me now, she loved it. She said that the color was "unusual, something she had never seen before." I am sure if I went and looked in her garden it is still there blossoming for her. 

We have the same sense of humor and I think, honestly, most people still don't think its too funny sometimes. It can, at times, be hard to understand, but we got it, and isn't that what mattered? We understood each other. And to this day, I think only my very best friends understand my sense of humor. All of the others are just left wondering about me I suppose, and that's OK.

My mom, me and my four leaf clover
She was a professional Four Leaf Clover hunter, locator and collector. She always found one and sometimes two or three, no matter where the clovers were growing. I have found that I am sometimes pretty lucky at finding these elusive green symbols of luck myself, hiding out in my yard just waiting to be discovered. She did have a secret in finding them though, and I will share it now, since it was leaked to me by a mutual friend. She said "they are always the tallest clover in the bunch." So, my assignment to ya'll is to go see if you can find some Four Leaf Clovers for yourself. Have fun, I am sure you'll find at least one. Remember to look for the tallest one.

We share a quiet and sometimes deadly trait of telling it like it is, sometimes to fault. I find myself, at times, expressing truths that are frankly better off kept under wraps (most times), but they are usually spoken because, frankly, it needs to be said. I have found in my life that the comment is most often stealth and piercing and the recipient unsuspecting, and what is said stinging. Even served with diplomacy, the truth can still hurt and often times be bitter. And though it may not make me the most popular person in the room, it is often food for thought that needed to be served and If it's me that has to do it, so be it. I'm OK with it, so was my mom. Its one of those family jewels!

My mom loved to cook and was, hands down, one of the best cooks I have ever known. I think when I was a kid cooking was of course done out of necessity and feeding a family every night, so why not make it delicious, right? But watching her cook taught me some handy tricks, especially cooking without a recipe; And now the rest is history. I can turn meat, potatoes and a veggie into a three course maybe three star meal in no time. All the thanks goes to my mom. I think that the love she put in it made all the difference, no matter if it was Thanksgiving dinner or liver and onions on Thursday night. I have a feeling that is how she learned to cook too.

The exact beach we were on
We loved the waves in the Atlantic Ocean. On a vacation together to visit my grandpa in Florida, we spend one whole day at the beach, which for my mom was unusual. We laid in the waves instead of trying to go out in the water to far because of the under-toe, and we let the waves pull us out to sea and then push us back up onto the beach again, just like seals. It was the only way we could stay in the water without being pulled under and disappearing for good. By the end of the day we both had sand in places I dare not repeat, but it was a glorious time and we laughed so much we had smiles on our faces for the rest of the day. That day would have to be one of my all time favorites with my mom and those huge, frothy salty waves we shared as we laughed the day away. What a blessing that day was. 

And there are so many other things that I could share, but these are just some of my favorites. They are good primers for future Mother's days. These are the moments and memories I am finding near the surface for this Mother's day, and if my Mom were here to reminisce I am sure she would be pleased. I think she would say, "she is her mother's daughter after all," with a smile on her face and wink of approval.

Right now, in the writing of this, my eyes want to cry for her and so does my heart. The loss of her is unspeakable, for there are no words, and the pain of her absences is very present. But even in those raw feelings I want to celebrate and thank her for what she left with me, cherished things that I can share and show the world what a wonderful mom I had and how circumstances took her away from me and all those who knew her and loved her -far too soon.

Happy Mother's Day Mom ... I will be thinking of you in many special ways today, ways that remind me just how much you loved me and how I loved you in return.

Thank you Mom...I love you.