Saturday, June 14, 2014

To My Father ... Happy Day To You.

I love my dad, and I can honestly say and he would surly, honestly agree it has not always been easy for us to love each other, but we have done a great job, regardless of what the past dished out.

The odds were against us.

Thank Goodness we no longer linger in the past.

It was hard when I was a kid because my my parents divorce. 

And people said things.

People that were not my parents. And they said mean things and biting things and things little ears should not hear from the adult world.

And those spoken words shaped my young thoughts and mind to think unloving thoughts of of dad. But even as a little girl I loved my dad, and I yearned to see him as much as I could. Through the years of visits and arguments and "New" family and new brother's (on both sides) and being considered a rebellious child, my dad, more than my mom, was always my friend. And he could have chosen not to be. 

Maybe because he wasn't always there, but I think not. It was just something natural and we were just friends. Plain and simple. And nothing stops real friendship, even in family.

And if you are reading this dad, I want you to know that our friendship, even when I was a tween and a teen and a young bride, nervous and shaking and "choosing which door to exit out of,"  and an older bride experiencing her third marriage and then her third divorce, with regret and sadness and guilt, you stuck by me and hugged me and Always smiled under that mustache of yours and and always said, "it is going to be OK honey, you just wait and see." 

When I was sick and in the hospital,  not knowing what was going to happen next, you were there, EVERY time, you were there. In snow storms, in big hospitals and little hospitals, you were there, holding my hand and getting me ice cream and asking me questions; and no one will ever replace those moments. I want you to know how much every time you were there meant to me. They are each so priceless.

There were times I never told you about when I would pray to see you, because I had something to ask you or just wanted to say hi and out of the blue, there you were. You might be driving down the road or pulling out of a driveway or pulling into my driveway, right at the perfect moment. And I believe it was my other father, God, giving me the gift he knows is so dear to my heart, and that is spending as many minutes with you as I can. 

And I just need you to know these things this Father's day.

NO ONE else can do any of that for me; Only my dad can .. you are your little girls hero and your grown girl hero and nothing will ever change that. NO matter the bad, no matter what anyone said, no one ever tarnished that first true love a daughter feels for their dad, at least not for me.

In the Bible is says, in Ephesians 6:1, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your Father and Mother which is the first commandment with a promise, so that it may be well with you and that you may live long on the earth.”

I have found honoring my dad, and listening to him and considering his ideas and his possible resolutions reduces the tension that can be caused between parent and child and there are no arguments. We may share idea's and solutions, but deciding to listen and Honor him as my dad brings much joy now – and he deserves the respect because he knows a lot and I am finally smart enough to realize that I do not know it all anymore. 
And I believe the Promise it speaks of is a healthy relationship with your parents, built on respect and honor, of each other.

Needless to say, I enjoy the feeling it gives me, to see my dad happy, and honored and respected. Its good all the way around.

I also know that at times it was a long road for us; there were things that could have been left un -forgiven and unforgotten but who wants such a burden? Not me! Life is too short and I want to be happy and enjoy my dad, I don't want to be fighting battles. When he is gone I want only loving, happy smile filled memories. 

Because we both deserve the best memories possible.

I can say that maybe my parents didn't do everything like it should have been done; I, for one don't know the story of "before" and I am sure I am better off not knowing. I do know one thing, when I see my dad and we are happy to be together sharing a story or a laugh, it is truly genuine, something I think that has been both earned yet also granted from the beginning, from when I was really very young, and I want to hold onto that, for it is a treasure.

I hope that everyone who reads this has a wonderful day with their dad. If he is gone, remember him warmly, and all of the memories that go with that. And if he here and you are estranged, make amends; there is nothing more wonderful than having that relationship. And forgiveness is very powerful … so powerful in fact that once you let it go the memory goes too; And what you have left is a clean slate, a new future to make all your own with fresh new memories. Give it a shot, you have nothing to loose and you dad to gain. 

Happy Father's Day

I am on the end because I am left handed .. with my brother and sister and my dad ... I am glad he is MY dad. He is still just as cool!