Patch was my pick of the litter.
My chosen Bulldog puppy; the one I waited patiently for for several weeks until on New Years Eve 2008 she arrived, along with the rest of the litter.
There were eight babies all together, all born weak and a little sick, with no guarantee anyone would make it through the night; so we took the news and waited.
By the end of the week four babies had died, and what remained were three boys and one girl. The little girl, being Patch. She would come home with me at 8 weeks and I was so excited to be getting her time could not go fast enough.
She came home to me weighting about 5 pounds, fit as a fiddle, and happy and playful as a little lamb, ready to meet her dad, Marshall, who also adored her. And the rest is history so they say.
She fit right in.
Patch has been with me ever since; she is my closest and dearest companion. A friend and a part of my family that I thought I would always have with me; but my plans are futile; because there is something greater in the works for both of us now.
|Patch staying warm on this chilly autumn day|
Because at noon tomorrow, Patch will be moving away to Vermont, to live a fun, new adventure with other Bulldogs and homemade food from her new kitchen. For Lil' Miss Lucky Patch ( that is her registered name) her adventure in traveling on an airplane begins.
And together, tomorrow, we start a new adventure. And getting ready for it has been emotional in ways I haven't felt in a very long time. And the tears have appeared more than once this week.
We will both be starting a new life without each other and that will be a little scary because we have never been without each other. I pray she loves it in Vermont with her new family and keeps eating, she will need to stay strong. I am sure she will love her new menu. Rice, veggies, chicken and fruit. Yea, she will like it.
|Waiting at the door|
I pray I find my strength and no fear and keep my appetite as I begin a new life without her; At the end of my bed hogging all the blankets and snoring like a sailor. I pray I can sleep without her? I hope I adjust quickly to not taking her out to run around and do her duty and kick her back feet up in great victory on a job well done!
I guess time will tell.
She is beautiful and loyal and happy and always loves me and Bethany; and I am making one of the most difficult decisions I have ever had to make concerning one of my animals. But only because I cannot care for her like I should anymore, and she deserves the very best I can provide for her.
|Bethany and Patch ... Best Friends|
In doing this, I really thought I would be dealing with some regret concerning the move, and frankly, this has been one of the best decisions I have made for her. She will be outside running and playing with other bulldogs in the next 24 to 48 hours.
I could not ask for more for her. I think she will be in Bulldog heaven.
I did feel a little regret the other day, until my friend told me the only way I could be a trader to her is if I DIDN'T take care of her and get her to someplace that will care for her. So I refuse to look back on this decision, as often as I feel my heart telling me "you don't have to do this." My heart knows I really do.
This week we celebrated Patch instead. We got her to the vet for shots and had a bit of a photo bomb session in the back seat of the car and at the vet office and I pulled out all the pictures I could find of her and her family and I have put them in this blog post.
I have made a choice that has proven to test my heart, my faith and my love for my dog, and to share it with all of you and show how much we love her and how much I know she will be loved in Vermont.
I can only say she is one of the LUCKIEST dogs ever.
|Beth, Rhee and Patch in the tree|
Like I said, I am not happy about letting her go, it is torture for me to do this.
To have had her since she was 6 weeks old, holding her, loving her, letting her sleep around my neck at night and steal my heart with her Bulldog beauty and charm; I am finding myself holding back my tears and chocking on my breath thinking about waking up and having her not at the end of my bed anymore.
But that will pass ... she on the other hand gets her own NEW bed; How's that for Princess treatment.
Rambo is going to miss his dog, and I hope he gets big enough to take up at least half of her spot on the bed. They are the best of friends. They loved hanging out and eating grass together. Patch was the first animal Rambo bonded too when we found him, and he thinks he is a dog!
|Patch and Rambo checking out the bushes|
So yes, sending Patch off is causing real pain, physical and emotional. I feel it in my chest. It's the same kind of pain you feel from any loss. The loss of a marriage, the loss of your mother or the sadness you feel when after years of not talking to a friend you find out he has cancer and may only live a few more weeks. Emotions are painful. And even though Patch is on her way to a wonderful new world, I still hurt for me.
And that is OK.
That is necessary.
It is all going to be OK.
|Patch on her couch|
I am surrendering Patch in this way because, well, because she is like my child, and she deserve the best with someone who will take her for walks and let her run in the grass and play ball with her.
She deserves, once in her life, to not be at the end of a leash and have the freedom to run and sniff and eat tall grass without me wondering if she is running into the road.
She deserves to be healthy and free of allergies and eye problems and once she is in Vermont, that will happen for her.
And I am excited for Patch. She will hopefully one day be the bulldog on the end of someone else's bed, hogging their space, snoring like a sailor, begging for treats and running like crazy in the yard to play ball. And if not, she will stay in Vermont with the Vermont Bulldog Rescue, where Dawna and her fine friends will embrace her and welcome her into their life and who I really know, without a shadow of a doubt, will love her just like I do.
Bulldog love is a special kind of love; Dawna has that.
Thank You Dawna ... This whole adventure is courtesy of an awesome God, for without my faith and knowing there was ONE person out there for Patch, I would have never found you. I have no doubt she will thrive with your care.
And So ...
Tomorrow our new adventures begin, without each other.
It will be a day we will not soon forget.
Here's to my girl Patch. I will miss you so very much.
(My heart is breaking).
All my love
|Patch asleep on my bed ... one last night.|
Sweet Dreams Patch.